🧠  brain dump

Why Are We Shy?

id / en

Thoughts |

If we compare to foreign students, we may find that Indonesian students have several shortcomings, one of which is shyness in asking questions. They think it's better to shut up than to ask. Not just asking questions in class, on average, we are timid to speak in front of many people. But why is it?

Maybe one of the reasons is because we are used to be judged wrong since we were little. Even if we made a little mistake, we were immediately blamed by our parents. And usually, they didn't just blame us, but also humiliate us in front of relatives, neighbors, etc.

We can't blame our parents because they are not wrong. They just want the best for us. They want us to be correct. Even though the method is not quite right, and even makes us embarrassed to speak in front of many people until we have grown up like now.

Every time we talk, we always imagine that people will disagree and dislike us. Suddenly we overthink even though we haven't done anything. Always afraid to open the mouth.

Even though this is because of an experience when we were young that we can't change, if we just sit still and instead blame the situation or even blame our parents, that's wrong, too. We have the biggest responsibility to change ourselves. How to do it?

First, everyone has their own business. So, they don't really have time to comment on us. Even if there will be comments, it's just passing by, and then we can forget again. It's not impossible if they are also busy thinking about themselves too, just like us.

Second, be yourself. Indeed, most people don't like to show their true selves for fear of not being accepted by other people. But if this continues, our original characters can be lost, suddenly the same as artificial ones. Just show it as it is. If you really don't like it, then it means they really don't suit us. And once you find the right one, stick with it.

Lastly, remember people say,

"Whoever embarrassed to ask, will be lost on the way."

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